I came across an article in CNN. A social media post was released by the Shanghai, China, metro showing a scantily-clad woman saying that women dressed this way invite sexual harassment and should expect it. The warning came after there were four separate complaints of sexual harassment in June.
There has been quite a bit of backlash from the women in Shanghai subsequent to the release of the post, which at the time of the article being released had not yet been taken down. The women want to know why it is their fault if someone attacks or harasses them.
I flashed back to a rape trial that happened when I was in high school. The gang rape had occurred in a high school stairwell. The judge, from the bench, stated that women who dressed in scantily clad clothes should expect to get attacked. The victim, at the time of the attack, was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, a pull-over sweater, belted (full waist, not hip-hugger) blue jeans, knee socks, and sneakers.
A couple of years ago, I read an article written by a Middle Eastern woman. She was walking down the street to market, fully clothed, including burqa. A man came from across the street to admonish her for being too much of a temptation because her sleeve had moved slightly and her wrist was showing.
What is wrong with these men? What was wrong with the people who raised these men?
I loved how the trooper who was teaching us the sexual harassment portion of our orientation put it when I was hired back with the State 11 years ago. “Is there anything in your job description that requires you to touch a coworker? No? Then don’t do it!” We laughed, but it’s a good metric.
I don’t mind the occasional hug at holidays and such when I’m at work, but I had a manager who stepped a bit too far once. He felt me stiffen up. He said, “Too much?” I asked, “Would you have hugged Kevin in that same situation?” “Um, no.” “Then not appropriate,” I smiled to take the sting out, and walked away. That was the last I needed to say because he was a reasonable man.
No means no. Women who use it otherwise are fools. Men who take no to mean no and act appropriately each time will take care of the few fools. The SCA has a wonderful story of a couple who were being amorous and at the last possible moment, the woman said no. The man immediately stopped. The woman protested, “Why did you stop?” “You said no.” “I didn’t mean it!” she whined. “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s going to take some time to get me back to where I was so we can continue.” I bet she never used no for yes again. I bet every father wishes his daughter met men so considerate.
Basically, though, it all comes down to respect. The men doing the attacking and harassing think the women inferior to them. If there was a mutual respect, there would be very little of this happening, I believe.